Here’s one of those cultural clash stories that RPCV’s (return Peace Corps volunteers) are always talking about…
Many of you may have seen my Facebook pictures last week from the PC All Volunteer Conference we had in Gaborone last week. After the meeting another PCV and I decided to stay a little later than our scheduled leave time in the big city. She to do some shopping and I wanted to soak the amenities of our swanky hotel for a little bit longer. It was a rather warm day so my friend and I sat in seats on the bus with windows to ensure we had control of the window nearest us. We were the first ones on the bus so it only seemed fair we would have the privilege of controlling the opening and closing of the window nearest us.
My friend and I were starving so we bought a couple things from the vendors that sell things up and down the aisles of the buses. Soon after we bought our snacks the rest of the vendors were on us. These people are normally aggressive sellers but never like this. We were trying to have a conversation that was interrupted literally every 30 seconds with someone not just asking us to buy something but insisting we buy something. A couple men literally told us we had to buy something. Let me remind you all that we are coming back from a week long conference were we had sessions basically from 8 am until 10 pm. Our patience was low to begin with on this day. At one point I pointedly told a man that he was bothering us and we did not want to buy anything so he should leave us alone. We were very relieved when the bus started moving and the vendors got off.
It was naïve of us to think that we would just peacefully enjoy the rest of our normally 5.5 hour bus ride. An hour into the bus ride my friend tapped me my shoulder from the seat behind me and whispered that the ladies across the aisle from here had asked her to close her window because the wind was bothering them. I think this is a good time to remind everyone that it is like probably 80 degrees at this point outside and my friend and I are on the side of the bus where the sun is beating down on. My friend said she was not going to close the window because she was hot. The women then complained to the woman who passes out tickets. She came and talked to my friend and my friend compromised by shutting it some of the way but refused to close it all the way. Then the lady next to me asked me to close my window and I said that I would not because I was hot and it is better for health reasons. She turned to the women behind her and told them in Setswana and said that I was hot.
At this point the ticket lady came by, leaned over us and shut both my friend and my window. As soon as she had leaned out of my way I reopened both of them. This was war now. After I opened the window the lady next to me asked me to close it some because she claimed she did not want to get ‘flu’ and that she had asthma. My blood is boiling. I literally laugh in her face and said, ”Mma, you cannot get flu from the wind .” I then slammed my window shut because I was done with this. She tried to tell me that I did not have to close it all the way but I snapped “It’s fine” and then slammed my ear buds into my ears to end the conversation. I was in a rage and I know my friend behind me was even madder than I. I squirmed in my seat to loosen the sticky and sweaty clothes from my body. This miserable bus ride could not end soon enough.
But then my anger began to subside.
I realized I was tired. Really tired. Everything about living today was exhausting. My little problems weighed me down. The big problems of my peers weighed me down. You can imagine how I felt when the lady next to me offered me some of her candy. Shame hit me like a wave. But then again I was also angry. Did she not realize how angry we had been over this window situation!? Or was she making peace? I was mad again then ashamed that I was mad.
The longer we got into our epically long bus ride the more ashamed I felt. I should not have acted the way I had when someone approached me in a polite and compromising manner but I was MAD! Like that kind of mad that makes you want to shed angry tears! I guess that made me even madder. I had let this small thing get to me. Naturally my friend and I were furiously texting each other about how we felt. I suggested that maybe we really should do health talks on buses about the importance of keeping windows open to prevent the spread of Tuberculosis that was so prevalent in Botswana. I mean we could empower people to protect themselves from TB (especially in a place where a quarter of the population is HIV+) as well as help out our fellow sweaty PCVs. The buses already have those “Keep your windows open to prevent Tb” stickers on every door!
Part of being a Peace Corps volunteer is portraying America and Americans in a positive light. That clearly was not something we were doing at the moment. If anything we were being seen as spoiled Americans who are used to getting their way. Botswana is a country that is more community based that concentrates more on the well being of the overall group. This is unlike America that is a very individualist society. The majority wanted us to close the windows but we felt we were entitled to keeping them open because we had our right as an individual.
Peace Corps and other PCVs always tell us that Batswana are more likely to help us because we are foreign and often helpless looking. They have also said that if you are kind and polite to the people around you then in the case of an emergency or maybe a theft they are more likely to help you because you had previously showed kindness. As the bus ride progressed I realized the kind of position my friend and I had put ourselves in. If today were the day we get robbed or attacked, there may not be anyone willing to help us because now everyone on this god forsaken bus hated us over this stupid window situation. I watched my bags closely and could not even fall asleep for (what turned into) our 7 hour bus ride. It is well known that smaller communities are generally safer for volunteers because of the relationships we build with our neighbors. Luckily no harm came to us on the way home so there was no need to depend on the kindness of the strangers on our bus but it was a good lesson to be learned in regards to our safety.
After finally making it to our destination, and writing this days later I think I can say now that this ridiculous bus ride was a learning experience for my friend and I but we cannot promise we will be compliant with keeping our windows closed on buses for the sake of some hairdos.
En español!
Una Lección en Transportación.
En de ver visto en mi Facebook que la semana pasada me la pase en la capital Gaborone en una conferencia donde nos juntamos todos los voluntarios en el país. Una amiga y nos quedamos un poco mas tarde que los otros voluntarios para poder ir de compras y tener el hotel unas horas mas. Era un día más o menos caliente y cuando mi amiga y yo nos subimos al camión nos sentamos en asientos con ventanas para poder tener las abiertas.
Mi amigo y yo no veamos tenido tiempo de comer antes de irnos. Entonces, compramos algunas cosas de las personas que venden comida y gusgeras en los camiones mientras que están parados. Cuando los otros vendedores nos vieron comprando todos quieran que les compráramos algo. Estábamos tratando de platicar y nos interrumpían para tratar de vender nos algo que no queríamos. Nunca los vea visto tan agresivos. De por se nuestra paciencia estaba limitada ese día porque acabamos de regresar de una junta donde veamos tenido juntas toda la semana de 8 de la mañana a 10 de la noche. Estábamos cansadas! Un señor de tiro nos dijo que teníamos que comprar algo. Le dije que no queríamos nada y nos estaba molestando. Estábamos contentas cuando el camión empezó a caminar.
Era ignorante pensar que el resto de nuestro camino iba ser en paz. Normalmente duramos 5 horas y media, esta vez fueron casi siete. Después de una hora en camino mi amiga atrás de mi me dice que las señoras a lada de ella le pidieron que cerrara la ventana que porque el viento las estaba molestando. Estaba casi 80 grados afuera del camión y estábamos a lado que pega el sol. Les digo que no porque tenia calor. Las mujeres después se estaban quejando con la señora que colectaba el dinero. La señora vino y le pido a mi amiga que cerrara la ventana por lo menos un poco. Mi amiga la cerró un poco pero la digo abierta. Después la señora a lado de mi me pido a mi que cerrara la mía. Le dije que no porque tenia calor y porque ira mejor para la salud de los que estaban en el camión teñir ventilación. Poco después regreso la señora que colectaba el dinero y sin decir nada cerró las dos ventanas. Mi salieron flamas por los oídos! Sin pensar dos veces abrí las dos ventanas otra vez. Ahora si estábamos en guerra.
Después que volví a abrir la ventana, la señora a lado de mi pido que la cerrar porque no quería que le pegara ‘flu’ y porque tenia asma. Para clarificar aquí la gente le llama flu a todo que tiene síntomas de flu. Dólar de cabeza, dolor de garganta, toz, fiebre… todo es ‘flu’ para Batswana. Tuve un momento cuando de tan enojada hasta riza me dio (característica heredado de mi papa yo creo). Le dije ”Mma, uno no le da ‘flu’ por el viento!.” Cerré la ventana con fuerza. My empezó a decir que no tenia que cerrar la completamente pero la interrumpí y le dije ‘no esta bien’ y me puse mis audífonos y la ignore. ‘Mma’ es lo que uno le dice a una mujer, es signo de respecto. Para un hombre es ‘Rre.’ A este momento estaba furiosa! Mi amiga atrás de mi todavía mas. Según yo muy dramática me movía y movía en mi asiento para despegar la ropa sudada de mi cuerpo. Me sentaba y mi paraba para todavía agregar a las dramaticas.
Un rato después me empecé a calmar y poco a poco menos enojada. Me di cuenta que estaba cansada. Muy cansada. Todo que se trataba de vivir hoy me tenia agotada. Mis problemas pequeños pesaban demasiado. Los problemas grandes de mis queridos todavía me pesaban más. Ya se pueden imaginar como me sentí cuando la señora a lado de mi me ofreció de sus dulces. Vergüenza sentí. Pero también todavía estaba enojada. A poco no se dio cuenta que enojada estaba??? O estaba tratando de hacer paz? Enojada otra vez y después avergonzada por estar enojada. Lo mas tiempo que duramos en el camión lo mas avergonzada me sentí. No debería ver racionado como ración. Hasta llorar quería por la frustración. Y todavía mas enojada en mi misma que me sentía hace! Mi amiga y yo estábamos mandándonos textos de cómo nos sentíamos. Decidimos que estaría bien dar platicas de salud sobre tuberculices en los camiones como un proyecto ya después. Cuando las ventanas están todos cerrados se ponen mas a riesgo la gente que contracte tuberculices por no tener suficiente ventilación en caso que alguien en el camión este infectado. También a la vez ayudamos a nuestros amigos voluntarios que están sudando la gota gorda en los camiones! Los camiones ya tienen stickers que dicen lo mismo que estamos diciendo de Tuberculosis en todos las puertas de los camiones.
Ser parte del Peace Corps es representar los Estados Unidos en una forma positiva. Obviamente eso no estaba pasando al momento con mi amiga y yo en este camión. Al contrario. Nos estaban viendo como Americanas chiquilladas, solo pensando en nosotros mismas. En Botswana, la opinión y bienestar de la comunidad y el grupo es más importante que la de una persona. Siento que en México también es similar. Esto es my diferente que en los Estados Unidos donde grupos tienen menos importancia y el individual es más importante, o por lo menos se siente más importante. La mayoría quería cerrar las ventas pero como tenemos el pensamiento de individual mi amiga y yo sentíamos que teníamos derecho a tener las abiertas Peace Corps siempre nos dice que Batswana son más probables de ayudarnos porque se nota que no somos de aquí y estamos un poco perdidos por lo regular. Esto es todavía más cierto cuando somos buena gente con ellos, incluyendo saludar a la gente. En caso de una emergencia son más probables de ayudarnos. Por esta razón los voluntarios como yo que están en unas comunidades pequeña están en menos peligro porque sus vecinos los cuidan. Pensé entre mi que perfecto seria que hoy fuera el día que alguien nos robara o atacara al momento cuando todos en el camión nos quieran bajar del camión por las pinche ventanas! No pude ni dormir me un rato por preocupación. Gracias a dios el resto del camión no tuvimos problemas y llegamos a nuestro destino a salvo.
Después de por fin llegar a nuestro destino y ya escribiendo esto días después, puedo decir que mi amiga y yo aprendimos de esta experiencia. A la vez no puédenos prometer que vamos a seguir con las ventanas cerrados solo por no despeinar algunas.
Good morning, how are you?
ReplyDeleteMy name is Emilio, I am a Spanish boy and I live in a town near to Madrid. I am a very interested person in knowing things so different as the culture, the way of life of the inhabitants of our planet, the fauna, the flora, and the landscapes of all the countries of the world etc. in summary, I am a person that enjoys traveling, learning and respecting people's diversity from all over the world.
I would love to travel and meet in person all the aspects above mentioned, but unfortunately as this is very expensive and my purchasing power is quite small, so I devised a way to travel with the imagination in every corner of our planet. A few years ago I started a collection of used stamps because through them, you can see pictures about fauna, flora, monuments, landscapes etc. from all the countries. As every day is more and more difficult to get stamps, some years ago I started a new collection in order to get traditional letters addressed to me in which my goal was to get at least 1 letter from each country in the world. This modest goal is feasible to reach in the most part of countries, but unfortunately, it is impossible to achieve in other various territories for several reasons, either because they are very small countries with very few population, either because they are countries at war, either because they are countries with extreme poverty or because for whatever reason the postal system is not functioning properly.
For all this, I would ask you one small favor:
Would you be so kind as to send me a letter by traditional mail from Botswana? I understand perfectly that you think that your blog is not the appropriate place to ask this, and even, is very probably that you ignore my letter, but I would call your attention to the difficulty involved in getting a letter from that country, and also I don’t know anyone neither where to write in Botswana in order to increase my collection. a letter for me is like a little souvenir, like if I have had visited that territory with my imagination and at same time, the arrival of the letters from a country is a sign of peace and normality and an original way to promote a country in the world. My postal address is the following one:
Emilio Fernandez Esteban
Avenida Juan de la Cierva, 44
28902 Getafe (Madrid)
Spain
If you wish, you can visit my blog www.cartasenmibuzon.blogspot.com where you can see the pictures of all the letters that I have received from whole World.
Finally, I would like to thank the attention given to this letter, and whether you can help me or not, I send my best wishes for peace, health and happiness for you, your family and all your dear beings.
Yours Sincerely
Emilio Fernandez